Funnily enough I was swearing off All-Star articles this morning, yet here I am on number two….BUT I am not breaking down the All-Star games, I am merely using the scraps of the All-Star game for my amusement. And today’s amusement is a new weekly article I will be doing called “Tweet it five hole”. It’s a format I gleefully stole from Bloody Elbow, an MMA web site that would take funny tweets MMA fighters did the week before and display them for the readers amusement. So while it is not an original idea, it is a fun idea, especially when applied to hockey, where sometimes finding personality through regular interviews can be like getting blood from a rock. So that being said, I hope you enjoy the newest segment to the blog, ”Tweet it five hole”.
Also, I promise to try to not use Paul Bissonnette’s tweets more than once a week.
Also, I don’t have an image created for this weekly segment, so I randomly chose a bloody fight as the lead in picture for this segment. Deal with it.
If there is one tradition in sports that will never go away, it’s making fun of the young guys on the team.
Justin Faulk of the Hurricanes apparently lost his car over the weekend. He should go to Kevin Weekes for advice on what it’s like to lose your car. (You’d have to be a hardcore Canucks fan to get that one.)
Dustin Brown: A fan of diving. Not a fan of driving. Small distinction.
Steve Kampfer from the Bruins, or as Canucks fans know him, ”A Bruins guy who didn’t try and maim and murder a Sedin last year….only because he didn’t play.” points out an awesome new look. The tucked in hoodie. Nothing says “I want to be warm and comfortable with no chance of unwanted drafts” quite like the ‘tuckoodie’.
We finally have an answer to the question “Do NHL players find Pierre McGuire as insane as we fans do?”. The answer is yes. Yes they do.
If you watched the game or paid attention to twitter, there were several player jokes about not being sober and being hung over. So basically everyone was in Mark Messier mode for this event. Or Harold Druken mode if you want a local reference.
Zdeno Chara’s rocket of a shot was the talk of the twitter world. I’ll one up Eberle and state that Zdeno Chara’s shot is probably harder than any velocity I could produce on earth. Ever.
As a goalie myself, I can fully agree with Lundqvist on this one. I have nightmares of Chara not only beating Vancouver for the cup, but of hunting me down and slapping the puck at me for daring to boo him.
If Sami Salo tried to block a Chara slapshot I’m pretty sure it would teleport him through time. In tiny little pieces.
You thought bloggers were the only ones who make snide remarks about petty things? Apparently Tim Brent is a blogger at heart. He takes a fan to task for having a sign that lacks originality. Good thing he didn’t see the sign that said “sign”.
Calling a shot a muffin makes me giggle every. single. time. Love it.
Datsyuk was picked first for a reason. Players all seemed in awe of his sick dangles. Also, juicy mitts sounds kind of horrifying. But I like it.
I’m pretty sure Pavel Datsyuk is going to have his own Dos Equis product soon. “I don’t dangle often. But when I do, I dangle Datsyuks.”
Woah woah woah there Grabner…..there can only be one Mr. Serious. I guess we need to stick Toews and Tavares in a cage one day and watch them….do something serious together? They can watch CNN all day and then maybe play some intense chess. First one to crack a smile, loses.
Sometimes the jokes write themselves, folks.
Alright, until next week…..
