We here at Province Sports Central get calls and emails from readers every day.
Most of the communication isn’t what I would call, say, pleasant, or engaging. There are exceptions, of course. There’s Mark, who’s blind, 50ish, loves Province Sports. Constantly tells me he has scoops. Eddie Lack will be traded. Sidney Crosby pines for Vancouver. That sort of thing. And there’s Bobby, who’s British, and is not blind. In fact, he’s seen about enough of the Whitecaps, whose brand of football he considers to be terrible, just terrible — or perhaps words I shouldn’t be using in a family blog.
Those are the guys who just love to talk. Most, however, just want to berate. We’ve messed up the boxscores. That rugby match wasn’t on TV when we said it would be. Gallagher is terrible, just terrible — or perhaps words I shouldn’t be using in a family blog. You’re a moron, McDonald, do you know that? (Stock answer: No. I’m a moron. How would I know that?)
On Tuesday morning, the emails came. I knew they would. After all, somebody at our end screwed up, and they’ll never let you forget it.
It seems that when we reported this in a cutline beside a photo …
Vancouver’s Liz Gleadle wins the women’s javelin at the Harry Jerome International Track Classic with a throw of 6,434 metres on Monday evening at Swangard Stadium in Burnaby. She fell short of her Canadian record of 6,483 metres that she set last month in Japan …
… that we got these kinds of responses:
Hi Jonathan. Wow, Liz Gleadle can throw 6,434 metres (6.4 KM = approx. 4 miles). Did she have a rocket on the back of that thing or do you possibly mean to say 64.3 metres?
… or responses suggesting we underplayed her achievement:
If Liz Gleadle actually threw a javelin 6,434 metres, that should be front page news.
… and thanks to David Musser for this one:
I’ve never heard of a 6-km-plus javelin throw. Isn’t that a really, really, really, really, really looooooooong way?
Apparently it is. Apparently that throw would have gone from the infield at Swangard Stadium to somewhere in the vicinity of Science World.
And it shattered the world record Jan Zelezny set in 1996, when he threw a javelin just 98.48 metres:
That’s impressive. No doubt about it. But then your whole scale of what’s impressive and what’s not shifts once you see this sensational world record (and no, I didn’t type in “wet T-shirt,” I really, really didn’t):
Man, to think you could put on seven wet T-shirts in one minute. Amazing.
The Cup Final
In Tuesday’s Morning Skate, Erik Rolfsen showed a gif of Tampa Bay Lightning goalie Ben Bishop, who somehow has a 2-1 series lead over the Chicago Blackhawks despite not being able to stand up properly. So it begged a poll, because we like to poll you. It was simple: Rolfsen wanted to know who the Lightning should start in goal in Game 4. Just over 55 per cent say it should be 20-year-old Andrei Vasilevskiy. Intriguing. But, after all, this is how legends are made.
Then Rolfsen showed off a couple of highlight of Bolts defenceman Victor Hedman doing his thing in Game 3, then asked us if we had the first pick in the 2009 draft, who would we take? John Tavares, who went No. 1 to the New York Islanders? Or Hedman, who the Lightning took at No. 2? If Rolfsen was trying to tantalize you, sway you, it didn’t work, the cad. Nearly 71 per cent of the 250-or-so voters said they’d go with Tavares. Harumph, Rolfsen.
Someone, meanwhile, doesn’t like the Chicago Blackhawks very much:
And he’s probably used to this sort of reaction:
Language!
And yes, the Maple Leafs aren’t too close to a Stanley Cup final. Which is why cartoonists have endless fun with them:
Priceless.
The Home Team
It was curious to see a picture of Chris Higgins sporting a playoff beard yesterday, especially considering I can’t remember the last time the Canucks were in the playoffs long enough to grow anything more than 5 o’clock shadow. Patrick Johnston thought it relevant to a story about NBC Sports boss Mark Lazarus suggesting that the playoff-beard tradition should end, since the players are all so “attractive” and “model citizens” and would certainly get “more endorsements” if only they were clean-shaven.
All bunk, of course.
Anyway, Patrick polled you, because we like to poll you. Asked if we should be listening to an NBC suit about hockey traditions. Ah, no, you said. In fact, 78 per cent of you want the playoff beard to live on. As if even NBC could make that change.
Meanwhile, down on the farm, the Utica Comets are playing Game 3 of their Calder Cup final against the Manchester Monarchs later today (ahllive.com. 4 p.m.). They’re down 2-0. But our man Ed Willes is bullish on the Comets, and on the fact that there is finally some success on the development side of the Canucks. Could it be more than just young Bo Horvat who makes the big club next fall?
“Her New Husband, Raleigh Sinclair”
Man, I wasn’t going to play the tennis high in the Skate today, not in what amounts to an off-week before the short grass season, and Wimbledon, hit us.
But then Erik Rolfsen served this up: the trailer for HBO’s 7 Days in Hell, starring Andy Samberg. It’s about a seven-day Wimbledon match, and there’s some thought it could be brilliant. Decide for yourself:
That is phenomenal. But no better than this classic clip from The Royal Tenenbaums, featuring a big match played at Windswept Fields:
The Footy Women
It’s hard not to scratch your head a wee bit when you read the analysis of Monday’s Group D opener between Australia and the U.S. The Matildas played a very good game. They really did. But they also lost 3-1. Which is why the analysis, on the Australian national team’s own site, is a bit perplexing:
The USA, well, they just aren’t that good … The U.S. certainly like to talk a good game. The reality is they play a fairly rudimentary, bog-standard 4-4-2, were short of ideas going forward and outmanoeuvred tactically. “Play it long and look for the head of Wambach” seems the default game-plan for a team stuck in the past. … World football has moved, in case Jill Ellis hasn’t noticed. The U.S. were outplayed by a better, smarter footballing side – who were also without two certain starters in (defender) Clare Polkinghorne and keeper Lydia Williams – before the Aussies ran out of gas.
The Aussies play Nigeria on Friday. They’re already in a must-win situation.
Meanwhile, FIFA’s troubles won’t just magically disappear. The latest is a petition, which demands that Coca-Cola “threaten to withdraw sponsorship (of the 2022 World Cup) if Qatar does not properly address human rights abuses.” More than 77,000 people have signed. There’s been no response from Coke CEO Muhtar Kent.
Canadian Content
Think Steve Nash is licking his chops, watching the Cleveland Cavaliers’ Tristan Thompson in the NBA final and wondering how much the big man will be able to help Canada in its pursuit of an Olympic spot?
There’s more to Thompson, who went from once-in-a-blue-moon starter during the regular season to key starting power forward in the postseason, picking up 14 or 15 rebounds on many nights and suddenly becoming a hot property around the NBA. He’s using his name and his new fame to raise awareness about epilepsy, which his younger brother Amari suffers from.
Tristan seems like a decent 24-year-old, doesn’t he?
True Dat
No, I never saw The Sopranos. Or Mad Men. And no, I haven’t watched Game of Thrones. You’ve never seen those shows? What’s wrong with you? Yes, I am such a bad person. I’m pretty busy, but I’m also clearly a bad person.
Now, I also didn’t catch True Detective when it came out in January 2014. Eight episodes. Blink and you miss it. I missed it.
So I’m determined not to miss Season 2, which debuts on HBO Canada on June 21. Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson are gone. In for them is an equally bang-up quartet of Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, and Canadians Rachel McAdams and Kelowna boy Taylor Kitsch.
The trailer looks awesome. Vaughn as a bad guy? Inspired!
The Toronto Sun is pumped about the Season 2 debut, though TV critic Bill Harris is worried that the delivery might not be able to meet expectations. He also happens to point to another debut that night on HBO — one which HBO isn’t pushing to the same extent:
Boom! The Rock!
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That
So a bullfighter loses a testicle when he gets gored. I’m having a hard time feeling his pain. Isn’t that what the bull’s supposed to do? And if you don’t want to lose a testicle, shouldn’t you be in other lines of work? Best line from the story: “It’s not good.”
What happens when one team scores too many runs on the other team in softball? The losing catcher delivers a message. Or more than one message. And the best part, contrary to what the story says, is not when the fan in the stands starts wailing “She did it again! She did it again!” No, it’s when the fan’s voice is slow-mo’ed right down. Now that’s funny.
Now, the Best of Hot Docs 2015 gets rolling Friday at the Vancity Theatre on Seymour Street. (More info at hotdocs.ca.) Hmmmm, what to recommend?
What about Speed Sisters, about an all-female car racing team from Palestine? It’s showing Saturday at 6:30 p.m.:
Then maybe stick around for The Barkley Marathons: The Race That Eats Its Young, showing at 8:30 p.m.:
I Leave You With This
Headis. It’s table tennis, but you use your head. Of course. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?
No. 8 is actually a pretty entertaining rally.
Paul Chapman is your Morning Skater Thursday. So get some sleep tonight.
